Dalena Dillman Taylor, PhD, LPC, RPT, is an assistant professor at the University of Central Florida, past president of the North Texas Association for Play Therapy (2013–2014), and the play therapy certificate coordinator at UCF. Dr. Dillman Taylor graduated from the University of North Texas with doctorate of philosophy in counseling, with a specialty in play therapy in 2013. Dr. Dillman Taylor is a trained Adlerian play therapist and focuses her research on the effectiveness of Adlerian play therapy with children and adolescents who demonstrate disruptive behaviors or academic difficulties in the classroom and at home.

In This Episode:  

• Child Parent Relationship Therapy, also known as CPRT, was developed as an adaptation of the Gurney’s Filial Model.
• Garry Landreth adapted this model to be delivered in 10 weeks.
• This type of therapy teaches parents Child Centered Play Therapy skills in an experiential way.
• It strengthens the relationship between children and their parents and/or caregivers.
• This program helps parents step back and look at the child’ holistically while remaining focused on the relationship.
• CPRT sessions are designed for groups, so that parents can connect and realize that they are not alone while learning from each other.  The group sessions are usually 2 hours per week, and after the 3rd week each parent and child (usually only one child at a time) have a special play session at home for 30 minutes to practice the skills.
• Each group session is designed intentionally to help them feel successful and proud of what they are learning, so only one main skill is focused on.
• The child centered play therapy skills are different from regular play time.  They focus on allowing the child to lead in the play without teaching or disciplining, but rather deeply connecting on a meaningful way that can boost children’s self-confidence, self-esteem, feelings of self-efficacy, and so much more.
• The “Be With” attitudes are an important component of CPRT.  I’M HERE, I HEAR YOU, I CARE, and I UNDERSTAND.”  This is not to be confused with always agreeing with the child or being permissive, but rather embraces a strong element of presence without judgement – positive or negative.
• Dr. Dillman Taylor mentions Dr. Dan Siegel’s brain research with children.  His work is so valuable when understanding what helps kids self-regulate their behavior and emotions.
• Dr. Dillman Taylor mentions Dr. Risë VanFleet as a great resource of how this approach can be adapted to work with individuals and couples.
• The CPRT manual is set up in a way that is convenient and packed full of knowledge and extras such as appointment cards, door hangers, assessments and much more.
• It’s important for parents to communicate to the child that the special CPRT playtime is important and valued.
• This type of therapy incorporates role play so that parents really get good practice with the use of some of the skills before they use it with their children.
• Dr. Dillman Taylor’s favorite rules of thumbs from the CPRT model are the following: (These are directly from the CPRT Manual)

“Be a thermostat, not a thermometer! Learn to RESPOND (reflect) rather than REACT. The child’s feelings are not your feelings and needn’t escalate with him/her.”

“What’s most important may not be what you do, but what you do after what you did! We are certain to make mistakes, but we can recover. It is how we handle our mistakes that make the difference. “  

• Knowing how the brain works as it relates to behavior is so helpful.  Dr. Dan Siegel has a wonderful “handy” model of the brain that can support this understanding with adults and children.
• Dr. Dillman Taylor has  a CPRT Training coming up in JUNE 8-10th.  It is a great training!  If you are a therapist living in or near Orlando, or if you are traveling from afar, this training is so worth your time.  It is one of the most valuable trainings that I have ever had the pleasure of attending.  I highly recommend it.   Click Here to Register

Resources

Mindfulness, Brain Hand Model by Dr. Dan Siegel’s Video

CPRT Training in June 2016 with Dr. Taylor

http://education.ucf.edu/playtherapy/events.cfm

Center for Play Therapy in Denton Texas

Parenting in the Rain, Episode 21

How to Make Divorce Easier for Kids with Child Therapist, Jackie Flynn

Sign-up for Jackie’s Free Class “How to Create an Emotionally Safe Environment for Your Child through Divorce” at www.jackieflynnconsulting.com/class

In This Episode:  

FREE DOWNLOAD

www.jackieflynnconsulting.com/divorce

Don’t Expect Your Child to Pick a “Side”

Do not expect your child to choose sides before, during, or after the divorce. Respect your child’s right and need to love, honor and respect the other parent.

Be Present with Your Child

Make the precious time that you get with your child quality time. Resist the urge to ask questions about time with the other parent. Also, take this time to truly connect with your child, as this can be a painful adjustment and strong parent child relationships are more important than ever.

Speak Respectfully About the Other Parent

Avoid "talking trash" about the other parent, whether directly or within earshot while talking to others. This can leave your child feeling angry, confused, and guilty. Instead, speak respectfully about the other parent to your child and make efforts to have a civilized and considerate relationship as much as possible.

Reassuring Your Child that Kids Can’t Cause or “fix” a Divorce

Sometimes children feel like they are the cause of the divorce. Whether they heard their name in a heated argument or just feel responsible for family issues. Letting your child know that a divorce is not something that children can cause, prevent or fix.

Show Empathy and Compassion for Your Child’s Feelings

Allow your child to express their emotions in a safe accepting way.

Reflections from you such as “you feel sad ...” or “that really hurt you when...” is much more helpful in terms of a healthy adjustment, as well as development of emotional regulation skills.

Maya Angelou said, “I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

Parenting in the Rain, Episode 20

Melissa’s Mantras: for Nurturing Responsibility, Independence, and Confidence in Children with Autism Spectrum Disorder

In This Episode:  

Melissa Braun, Ed.S is a loving parent, an educator, a school staffing specialist and a person passionate about advocating for kids.  Melissa shares her 5 mantras below.  

• Have a Growth Mindset.

Melissa points out the power of the word “yet”.  She points out that we need to focus on what they can do and what supports and services they need to be successful.

• Be the Advocate (all) Our Children Need You to Be.

Melissa emphasizes that we need to advocate for what we want our child to become.  This helps them to become a self-advocate as they grow and develop as well.

• Embrace Healthy Conflict and Difficult Conversations.

With so many people on teams for children with special needs, there is likely going to be disagreements and conflicts along the way. Expect conflict and know that conflict is because people care about your child’s success and may have different viewpoints on help.  Don’t avoid conflict, but keep talking and keep listening.  Melissa asks herself “What did their heart mean?” when she hears things from others in the team that sometimes feels upsetting.

• Do not Handicap your Child’s Life by Making it Easy.

Let your children do what they can do for themselves. Empower them to be as independent as possible. This may require more time and support, but allowing your child the opportunities to make mistakes and gain skills helps support self-efficacy.

• Be Kind to Yourself.

Be gentle on yourself.  Don’t expect perfection.  Recognize your humanness.  “Some days are more successful than others.”

In This Episode:  

• Hannah’s Heroes is a nonprofit organization that is on a mission of youth suicide prevention.
• Lyn Cline, co-founder and president of “Hannah's  Heroes. “After the tragedy of losing my beautiful daughter, Hannah to suicide, I couldn't allow her to become another teenage statistic. With friend, and former teammate, Liz Mikitarian, Hannah’s Heroes was born.”
• Lyn tells us that Hannah was a well-rounded young girl that they never expected was deeply depressed and at risk of death by suicide.  The evening before she “took her life” she was planning with her mother for short term and long term events.  It was a complete shock.  She thought she had the world at her fingertips.  “Don’t ever think this can’t be your kids”.
• Lyn urges parents to put away the electronic devices and connect and spend time with their kids. “You need to know what the kids are doing online.”  
• Liz Mikitarian, has worked with children for over 30 years. She earned Bachelors and Master’s degrees in Elementary Education.  She also is the mother of one teenage son and a co-founder of Hannah’s Heroes.
• Lyn urges parents to take signs of depression seriously and not to think of them just as a “phase” that children go through.  
• Liz tells parents that our first job as parents is to keep our kids safe, they don’t need the privacy online.  It’s important to be honest with kids and talk about the dangers, to ensure that we as parents can guide them through troublesome relationships online.
• Lyn urges parents to educate themselves on signs of teen depression.  And, talk to your kids and let them know that you care enough to ask.
• Lyn Cline and Liz Mikitarian have formed Hannah’s Heroes to help prevent suicide by working with teens and educating parents on signs that can be too easily missed or dismissed as a normal teenage development.
• After the tragedy, Hannah’s mother Lyn found out that Hannah had a hidden Instagram account and an email that she didn’t know about beforehand.
• Lyn urges parents to get involved and know about their kids’ electronic use to keep them safe.  
• Please donate to their mission of support and prevention at www.hannahs-heroes.org.  Just click on the link in the upper right-hand corner of the page.